“He could wake the neighbors three streets over,” Alicia said.
“He does wake the neighbors,” Sarah said.
Sarah laughed. Alicia laughed. The men at the grill laughed. The grill was black. The grill had ribs on the grate. The smoke from the ribs went into the air. The air was hot. It was a Saturday in Chino. The sun was yellow. The grass was green but the grass was dry at the edges.
Alicia held a plate. The plate was paper. The plate had potato salad and one rib. The potato salad had too much mustard. Alicia ate the potato salad. The potato salad was cold. My head has a sharp pain right now. I ate vanilla ice cream too fast before I started to write this. The ice cream was cold. The pain is behind my eyes. I will wait for the pain to go away.
The Performance of a Nightly Sound
Alicia looked at Mark. Mark was her husband. Mark stood by the grill. Mark had a beer in his hand. Mark laughed at the joke. Mark has heard the joke for nine years. The joke is about the sound Mark makes at night. The sound is loud. The sound is a vibration in the throat. Alicia tells the joke at every party. She tells the joke at the bank. She tells the joke to the mailman.
If the problem is a joke then the problem is not a medical fact. If the problem is a joke then Alicia does not have to worry.
The party ended at . Alicia and Mark drove home. The car was white. The car had a smell of old coffee. Mark drove the car. Alicia looked out the window. She saw the signs for the shops in Chino. She saw the trees. Mark did not talk. Mark was tired. Mark is always tired. He was tired on Tuesday. He was tired on Wednesday. He was tired at the barbecue.
When the Laughter Fades
They went into the house. The house was quiet. Alicia brushed her teeth. Alicia looked at her teeth in the mirror. The mirror was clean. Alicia went to bed. Mark went to bed. Mark fell asleep in four minutes.
The sound started.
The sound was a low rattle. Then the sound was a loud rattle. The sound came from the back of the throat. The sound was the air hitting the soft tissue. The tissue was loose. The tissue blocked the air. Alicia did not laugh now. The room was dark. The room was not a backyard. There were no neighbors to hear the sound. There was only Alicia.
Then the sound stopped.
The silence was heavy. The silence lasted for . Alicia held her breath. Alicia looked at the ceiling. The ceiling was white. Alicia counted the seconds. She got to twelve. Mark did not breathe. Mark did not move. His chest was still. His mouth was open.
Then Mark made a gasp. The gasp was sharp. Mark moved his legs. Mark turned on his side. The breathing started again. The breathing was loud.
Mark wakes up 34 times in one hour to survive the 12-second pauses in his breathing.
Alicia stayed awake. She thought about the joke. She thought about the people laughing at the ribs. The joke was a set of words. The words were a script. The script said that the snoring was a quirk. The script said that Mark was just a loud sleeper. But the silence was not a quirk. The silence was a pause in life. The silence was the body fighting for air.
“The cost of a small fix is low but the cost of a late fix is high.”
– Omar C.M., Financial Literacy Educator
Alicia thought about the cost. She thought about Mark’s heart. The heart has to work hard when the air stops. The brain has to wake up to tell the body to breathe. Mark does not remember waking up. He wakes up 34 times in one hour. He thinks he slept all night. But he did not sleep. His brain was busy staying alive.
Alicia looked at the clock. The clock said . The red numbers were bright.
Rewriting the Conversation
The next morning the sun came through the window. Mark sat at the table. Mark had coffee. Mark looked at the floor.
“You were loud last night,” Alicia said.
“I know,” Mark said. “The neighbors, right?”
Mark smiled. He was using the script. He was waiting for Alicia to say the joke. He wanted to laugh. He wanted the problem to be small again.
Alicia did not smile. Alicia did not say the joke. She put her hand on the table. The table was cold.
Mark stopped smiling. He put the coffee down. The cup made a sound on the wood. He looked at Alicia. He did not look at the floor.
“Twelve seconds is a long time,” Mark said.
“It felt like a long time,” Alicia said.
They did not laugh. The silence in the kitchen was different than the silence in the bedroom. This silence was the start of a conversation. It was the end of the joke.
The 20-Year Trap
Many couples stay in the joke for twenty years. They buy earplugs. They buy machines that make the sound of rain. They sleep in different rooms. They tell the joke at the Christmas dinner. They tell the joke until someone has a stroke. They tell the joke until the heart fails. They do this because the joke is easy. A medical evaluation is hard. A diagnosis is serious.
A Literal Fix for a Literal Tube
Alicia wanted to change the script. She wanted to go to a professional. She knew that some dentists help with this. They look at the mouth. They look at the airway. They look at the way the jaw sits.
She had heard of the Dentist in Chino who deals with this. Dr. Tareq Afifi works there. He has worked there since . He uses modern technology. He uses plain language. He explains the options. One option is a plastic piece. The piece fits in the mouth. The piece moves the jaw forward. This keeps the throat open. This stops the silence. This stops the gasp.
Alicia wrote the name on a piece of paper. The paper was yellow. The pen had blue ink.
“We are going to call them,” Alicia said.
“Okay,” Mark said.
Mark sounded relieved. He was tired of being tired. He was tired of the joke too. The joke was a weight. He had to carry the weight at every party. He had to pretend that his health was a funny thing.
The jaw is a machine. The tongue is a muscle. The airway is a tube. These are literal things. They are not metaphors. If the tube is closed, the air does not go to the lungs. If the air does not go to the lungs, the blood does not have oxygen. The body needs oxygen to function. This is a simple fact. It is as simple as a bill for electricity. You pay the bill or the lights go out.
They decided that Mark’s life was worth more than the money. They decided that a quiet night was worth more than a loud joke.
Alicia and Mark went to the office. The office was clean. The chairs were blue. The staff were kind. They did not laugh about the snoring. They took it seriously. They looked at Mark’s mouth. They talked about a sleep study. They talked about the physician’s diagnosis.
Dr. Afifi spoke to them. He did not use big words. He said the airway was narrow. He said the device would help. The device is called an oral appliance. It is small. It is easy to wear. It is not a joke. It is a tool.
The cost was $2,140. They looked at their insurance. They looked at their budget. They decided to do it.
The Sound of a Healthy Life
They went back to a barbecue three months later. It was at the same house in Chino. The sun was still hot. The ribs still smelled like pork. Sarah was there.
“How is the freight train?” Sarah asked. Sarah was ready to laugh.
Alicia looked at Mark. Mark looked at Alicia. Mark looked healthy. He did not have dark circles under his eyes. He had energy. He had played catch with his son for that morning.
“Quiet?” Sarah said. “That’s not funny.”
“No,” Alicia said. “It is not.”
Alicia took a bite of a rib. The rib was warm. The meat was tender. She did not feel the need to make anyone laugh. She felt a sense of peace. The peace was literal. It was the feeling of a body that had enough oxygen. It was the feeling of a husband who was going to live a long time.
My brain freeze is gone now. The pain left about ten minutes ago. My head feels clear. I can see the words on the screen. The words are just words. They are not a joke. They are a way to tell the truth.
Why Laughter Fails
The truth is that we use humor to hide our fear. We laugh because we do not want to cry. We laugh because we do not want to go to the doctor. But the laughter does not fix the airway. Only the treatment fixes the airway.
Mark wears the device every night. He puts it in before he turns off the light. The light is a lamp on the nightstand. The lamp has a tan shade. Mark clicks the switch. The room goes dark. Alicia listens. She hears the sound of the wind outside. She hears the sound of a car on the street. She hears the steady breathing of her husband.
The breathing is soft. The breathing is regular. There are no pauses. There are no gasps. There is no silence that lasts for twelve seconds.
Alicia falls asleep. She sleeps for . She wakes up and she is not tired. Mark wakes up and he is not tired. They eat breakfast together. They talk about the day. They do not talk about the neighbors. They do not talk about the freight train.
Mark and Alicia walk in the park. The park is in Chino Hills. The trees are tall. The sun is setting. The sky is orange. They walk for . They do not get out of breath. They are happy. They are quiet. The quiet is the best part. It is a literal quiet. It is the sound of a healthy life.
Dr. Afifi was right. The process was simple. The results were real. They tell their friends now. They do not tell a joke. They tell the truth. They tell their friends to get checked. They tell their friends that snoring is a sign. It is a sign that the body is struggling.
The new script is about care. The new script is about the future. It is a long future. It is a future with many more barbecues. But at those barbecues, the only thing loud will be the music. The only thing gasping will be the people laughing at a story that is actually funny. Mark’s breathing will stay steady. Mark’s heart will stay strong. Alicia will sleep through the night. This is not a joke. This is the way it should be.